Tapestry Circle

It dawned on me this morning, it has been ten years since we lost Rich Mullins. I remember as if it were yesterday.

I was reading a book in our living room. We were living in married housing at the time, just outside of Spring Arbor’s campus. It was my wife’s birthday, and we had a day of fun planned. Then, the phone rang. “Man, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Rich died last night.” Then, I cried. My head spun around and I felt sick.

He had lost control of his Jeep and was thrown into the highway. Mitch McVicker had been thrown the other way and was ok, but hurt.

Then next morning, we had to go lead the Chapel service for the college. I didn’t know how I’d do, but I felt like it was a good way to remember Rich’s life by leading others in worship. Then, at the end of our time, a friend stood up and said, “I don’t know if you heard, but Rich Mullins died over the weekend.” He then asked if we’d play “Awesome God” in honor of Rich. Well….I stood up, handed off my drumsticks and ran backstage to sob. I then ran to find Damon who was waiting in the entry way ready for a hug. He faked a smile and said, “I know.”

That was ten years ago on the 19th.

It was only a few months before that Damon got a call from Rich who was telling him all about this great idea he had for a new album. “The Church needs to re-focus on Jesus, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to write a whole album about Jesus….a Jesus Record!” I remember Damon laughing when he hung up and told me what Rich had just said. I thought, “That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard for an album. It’s about time.”

That was rich was like though. He had the ability to sense what the church needed, what it was going through and was daring enough to write what many of us only thought…but we aren’t as poetic. Here’s my fav. song that Rich wrote months before he died. It speaks so much about how I feel so often.

“Hard to Get”
Rich Mullins
1997

You who live in heaven

Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth

Who are afraid of being left by those we love

And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape

To find the faith to ask for daily bread

Did You forget about us after You had flown away

Well I memorized every word You said

Still I’m so scared, I’m holding my breath

While You’re up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin

We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was

Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness

Did You ever know need

Do You remember just how long a night can get?

When You were barely holding on

And Your friends fall asleep

And don’t see the blood that’s running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted

While You’re up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows

And I know you feel our pain

And I know it would not hurt any less

Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out

At the One who loves me most

And after I figured this, somehow

All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time

We can’t see what’s ahead

And we can not get free of what we’ve left behind

I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears

All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can’t see how You’re leading me unless You’ve led me here

Where I’m lost enough to let myself be led

And so You’ve been here all along I guess

It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

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